I had this past Saturday off which was great, but it doesn’t beat having a Monday off.  It feels like I’m playing hooky because I can sit and watch tv, sit for hours online, and I could even take a nap if I wanted to.  Of course I’m smarter than that and will probably try to do alot of work in the house, but it’s still a thought.  I plan to pace myself today and actually treat myself during my afternoon/Futurama break.  I’ve got some lovely foot clay from LUSH that I’ll use to scrub and polish, a good ol’ pumice stone to really exfoliate, and then I’ll top it off by soaking and massaging my feet again in a hot foot bath.  Now here’s what needs to be done:

• Laundry x3
• Clean out fridge
• Bake lemon sponge pudding
• Wash kitchen and diningroom floors
• Detailed cleaning of kitchen
• Tidy bedroom
• Organize Magnus and Sophie’s birthday gifts
• Brainstorm for M&S’s birthdays
• Send out emails
• Meal planning for the week
• Beefstew for Magnus
• Plan new exercise regime
• Start planning our London trip!
• Cardio and pilates (Need to be extra careful due to hip injury)
• Print announcement for cafe
• Pack M&S’s daycare bags
  

I love Sundays.

Sundays mean that my week comes to an end but it’s the perfect beginning to what’s to come for the next.  On Sundays I like to take it easy and try to squeeze in personal time if possible.  Because I work so much and because I like to dedicate my Saturdays to spoiling the kids when I’m not working, Sunday is my personal-refuge day to regroup and take it easy.  Ørjan often lets me sleep late and/or take a nap, I often try out new recipes or bake something yummy for us, or I try to catch up on unfinished projects and crafting.  I am also trying to use my Sundays to materialize my goals and resolutions.  Today I feel accomplished and confident.  Today I feel like I’ve crossed many things off my list and I’ve definitely had some quality time with the kids. If only I felt the same way about Mondays.

Today we all slept in, I made Sunday waffles for the kids, and I tried out a new mango-melon smoothie recipe.  As the kids napped away I’ve managed to do a detailed cleaning of the kitchen, washed the floors, and there’s a pot of homemade beefstew on the stove simmering away.  I have a few loads of laundry to toss in, a few lists to write out, and a few letters to start writing, but it’s nothing that is stressing me out because big shock – I have Monday off!  Before the day is over I’d like to start brainstorming ideas and possible menus for Magnus and Sophie’s birthdays but we still have a few weeks yet.

I love days like these.

From Monday the 11th – Thursday the 14th all four of us were in Bodø while Magnus visited the Spesialpedagogisk Senter and the hospital in Bodø.  I’ve touched on it before, but never in depth as I will now.  Our son Magnus (3 years on February, 7th) has a speech/language problem and he is very small (weight) for his age. After a very long process our week was scheduled for the second week in January.  Our trip up north wasn’t the best but we made it… luckily.  (For the locals that read this you’ll completely understand my frustration.)  We decided to take the bus to catch our train, but for some reason our driver missed some passengers in Finneifjørd and decided to turn around at Dalselv to go back and pick them up.  He drove all the way to fucking Dalselv and turned around without notifying us.  Considering we only had about 30 minutes before our train left from Mo i Rana it wasn’t likely we’d make it if we had to turn around.  Ørjan raced up to the front to say we had a train to catch so the driver said it was ok – that he’d drive faster!  Too fast infact because while Sophie sat in my lap she puked all over us not once, but twice!  At that point Ørjan and I agreed it was enough and he demanded the driver take us to Bjerka so we wouldn’t miss our train.  He dropped us off, I ran into the station and ripped out the suitcase so I could put some clean clothes on Sophie and then the train arrived not one minute later.  I had to run to the platform without putting a jacket back on her.  We made it and that’s what’s important, but I wasn’t going to accept missing our first appointment because of the driver.  We made it to the centre later that evening (we stayed at the centre’s family housing) and we all fell asleep around 10.

Our first appointment was at 9am the next day and we (myself and Ørjan) were very nervous.  We were apprehensive about what they’d say but after 10 minutes with them we realized it was going to be a positive process.  It’s not that Magnus doesn’t understand us but he says very little and doesn’t seem to communicate at the level his peers.  At first we were very worried that maybe it was because we speak both English and Norwegian at home but they reassured us that it really has nothing to do with our choices.  After three days of testing and activities some conclusions were made and we all walked away feeling very satisfied and relieved with what they had to say: Magnus is a happy and healthy boy.  During one of the language tests I started to cry a bit because I had never heard Magnus speak so much.  I was so completely surprised and overwhelmed with the level of language and comprehension he has.  He even answered some of her questions in English!  Magnus uses a vocabulary of less than 20 words at home so I was in complete shock when he was speaking short sentences with words I had never come from his mouth.  At the hospital they did some simple tests, observed his movements and abilities, and took a long history.  I can’t say I was completely satisfied with the last day but things happen that we can’t change.  That’s all I’ll say for now.

One thing I do plan to make public is this – Ørjan’s mother has been holding back crucial information.  From the beginning (April 2009) we started this process to have Magnus tested and have help given for his needs.  The entire time his mom has been saying that we’ve been pushing him, that he’s still very young and we have nothing to worry about.  Well now, it seems to be not what she insists.  Her cousin (I work with her) told me that Ørjan was almost four years old when she started to understand what he said.  I started thinking that since Magnus is so like his dad that is has to be more than a conincidence.  From the beginning Magnus’ daycare, PPT, and the pediatric centre have been asking us about our family histories and whether or not any of us have had language difficulties.  This entire time she has refused to provide any information and has refused to accept that Magnus has difficulties.  One of the nights we were in Bodø she called to ask how things went and she conveniently mentioned that Ørjan spent a week in Bodø for testing just like Magnus.  WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?  We had been begging for information and only now she decides to mention this?  I’m extremely disappointed and I can see that Ørjan is feeling something he refuses to confont her with.  I really don’t know what to say to her now.  Hmmmm.

In all it was a very positive experience and I think we’re on our way to seeing some great improvements and achievements from him.  I’ve made it clear that I would like to learn sign language to aid in his needs and now we believe that each day they’ll be providing some private time for him to concentrate on his language skills.

- Og du, helvete du!  Kun ikke du bare si ifra tidligere?  Var det så vanskelig?  Det er mitt barn vi snakker om nå – ikke ditt!  Fortell meg nå hva i helvete problemet er!  Vi har spurt deg flere ganger i det siste året om Ørjan men du har nektet å gi oss informasjon.  Du har nektet å fortelle oss om Ørjan da han var liten, og du prøver å styre over Magnus, men tror du engentlig at det er best for alle?  Nå må du forklare alt du kan fordi nå er jeg ferdig.  Jeg er veldig veldig skuffet og sint.  Du altid har så mye å si og du er veldig flink å klage, så kom igjen nå!  Hvis du vil ikke fortelle meg så må jeg ringe til mor fordi hun or den eneste som har vært ærlig med oss.

I had to get  that off my chest.  It’s been festering since that night she called.

I used to take self-portraits every month (especially when I was pregnant) but I haven’t really felt like it in a long time.  With the new year here I thought now was a better time than ever to start up again.  Here’s me in 2010.   Maybe a little happier?  I’m definitely less occupied with trying to look just right and this is me.  I don’t think anything has changed at all except the wallpaper in the background.

We leave for Bodø tonight and I’m not even close to being finished with packing and preparing for the trip.  I went out Saturday night (Ørjan insisted!) to celebrate Emira’s 30th birthday and didn’t end up coming home until 03:30.  Of course I went to bed late and slept in Sunday morning so now I’m a little behind.  I was so exhausted yesterday that I only managed to do a few loads of laundry and tidied the bedroom.  Since we’ll be gone all week there’s so much to do and I hardly want to tackle any of it.  We arrive home late Thursday evening and then it’s back to work for a full fast-helg weekend.  Ugh, so not looking forward to it.  Because I love making lists, here’s what needs to be done today:

• Laundry x3
• Pack toiletries, diapers, small items
• Make food/dinner/goodies bag for the train trip
• Pack for myself, kids, and Ørjan
• Clean out fridge
• Pick up groceries and diapers for next week
• Clean kitchen
• Give Monika key and “cat list”
  

For my own sake I’m just going to get this out of the way now.  I don’t usually like to make New Year’s Resolutions but I know that some of these had to wait until now and not a day earlier.  Yes, some of them will typically top any blogger’s list, but these are things I really want to achieve and include in my daily routines.  They’re not for the sake of making a list either.  (I love making lists.)  So here we go in no particular order:

1. Quit smoking - This is at the top of my list because I’ve been smoking at work because I haven’t been able to deal with the stress and now I seriously regret it.  The cost (my health and wallet) is something I just can’t justify any longer.  I could say, “Sure, it’s only really a pack or two a week” but just one cigarette is too much.  It makes my hair and clothes smell, I don’t like keeping it a secret, and let’s not forget the stigma.  I want to be healthier in 2010 and I won’t make any progress if I continue to smoke.  I’ve been trying to cut down for weeks and I’ve been battling because of the holidays.  It’s a social thing and impossible to say no.
2. Excercise - Months ago I was doing both cardio and pilates but I haven’t been able to squeeze in the time.  I’m lucky if I can squeeze in pilates three times a week but I never feel fully accomplished.  I was going to join a spinning class with some people from work but the first sessions never happened because that week I was incredibly sick.  After that I just passed on the opportunity, but I fully intend to attend some classes in the new year.  I’d really like to get into better shape before summer hits us.  I’m not reaching for a cliche bikini-ready bod but I’d like to feel more confident when the weather warms up.
3. Save $$$ - In March and April we’ll be travelling quite a bit and it won’t be easy without some extra money.  Three nights in London, a few weeks in Hamilton and Toronto, and if we can afford it we’ll go across the border for some shopping.  I’d also like to spend a few thousand dollars on new camera equipment because at this point I’d like to take my hobby to a semi-professional status.  I’d also like to make it a point that I will be more careful about how I spend my money.
4. Read - I find very little time to read books, magazines, and my old textbooks.  I’ve been trying to keep some books by my side of the bed but I always end up passing out before I reach the third page.  I should probably make a list of books I’d like to read this year to get me started.  One thing I’d like to find time for is refreshing my language skills.  I have many textbooks and novels in French and German and it might be good idea to pull them out to see if I’m as fluent as I used to be.
5. Cut out meat - I’m not sure I’ll be able to cut out meat completely (or right away) but I’m definitely going to give it a go.  Believe it or not but once upon a time Iwent through a meatless-period and even considered myself a vegetarian.  Gasp!  Since my region isn’t exactly the most veggie-friendly area to live I don’t think I’ll give up eggs or milk but I may reduce my intake.  This is going to be hard because I really love salmon!  I’m slightly apprehensive about cutting out meat because of my anemia, but I’ve been researching iron-rich and fortified foods that I can add to my diet.  When we go into Mo tomorrow I’m going to visit the healthfood store to see what kind of tofu and meatless food they can offer.
6. Be more honest with myself and others. I consider myself to be a very honest person but at sometimes I hold back because I’d rather not reveal how I feel.  There are many times I’m unhappy or unsatisfied with something about work but I always keep my mouth shut.  There are also many days I wish Ørjan would help with the house and the kids but just sigh at the end of the evening.  Here’s the really tricky one – when people ask for my opinion I will give it to them.  No more sugar coating it!  I have no intentions of being mean or rude, but I won’t lie when I really dislike something or find something false.  I think this is a positive move on my part.
7. Start writing. This includes personal diary entires, blogging, and letters and people at home.  I’ve been slagging when it comes to that promise I made to keep better contact with family and friends.  Yes life is chaotic but there are no excuses now.
8. Make time for my hobbies and crafting. Ørjan bought me a sewing machine for Christmas and I have nothing but good intentions for a line up of projects, but the real question I have to consider is whether I actually have time for it.  I can sew, infact I’m quite ok (thanks to some classes) but I also procrastinate more than I’d like to.  I’ve purchased fabric over the past two years but have barely touched it.  Now with my weightloss I have to take in or hem my jeans and I can’t do this without my sewing machine.  Maybe I’ll start tonight.
9. Piano-love. My kids love banging the keys and playing along with me when I have my musical moments, but I’d really like to spend more time with them trying to get them interested in music.  I have no expectations that I’ll be training prodigies but it would be nice if they enjoyed it.  Perhaps when we go to Canada for Easter I’ll bring back some of my old books just for a refresher.  At the moment I’ve only been playing kids songs (themes from Totoro and Drømmehagen) and random music you might hear an icecream truck playing.  I was classically trained – I must put those years to better use!
10. Give. This is a promise and committment that I will give more time to myself, others, and the community.  Since I started working again (it was never meant to be full-time!) I feel like I’ve been more negative and have given up on many of my beliefs.  I want to be more positive and give more live and time to those I hold close.  If I can keep my life balanced I will volunteer for more than just extra hours at work.

This list isn’t written in stone and I’m sure that I’ll add more as the months approach, but I wanted to get this up as a reminder to myself that I have things to strive for this year.  It’s a work in progress and there’s no possibility for failure.