Holy cow it’s September 1st and I’m just logging into this place now.  I suppose I let this place collect dust due to many reasons.  Perhaps the most disappointing one has to do with the fact that I just don’t have as much interest as I once had.  If you follow me on twitter you’ll know just how busy I’ve been with work and the summer season, illness and injury, and let’s not forget Hemnesjazz.  July pretty much just took everything I had and then bounced me along to its equally devastating friend.  I barely had time to eat, sleep, or be nice.   I was a mess.  I worked too much overtime, stressed myself to the point of losing weight (which I’ve gained back boourns), and I was always on edge and one could definitely call me a bitch.  It was just too much.  Thankfully summer is over and now I plan to take some time for myself.

I/we celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary, our 26th and 36th year birthdays, and had a few “kosekveld” evenings.  They weren’t exactly the most joyous ocassions due to my back injury but we survived them.  Birthdays are never really big deals for us and I wish others wouldn’t push us to celebrate something we’re not big about.  Oh well.  It’s over.  Maybe next year we’ll try to make our birthdays better.  Let’s just hope I don’t seriously injure myself again.  At least next year I’ll be wise enough to take some vacation even if it is just two weeks and not the full four.

The kids are growing up fast and every day I am just so much more proud of them.  Magnus is starting to talk, Sophie (stubborn but sweet!) is so artistic, and the relationship they have with eachother is beyond words.  I’ve got the most wonderful kids in the world and if I could, I’d probably wear one of those corny t-shirts declaring my love and pride for my children.  (No bumpersticker since we don’t 0wn a car.)

September is here which means summer is over.  There is no hope for anything-summer to happen and that’s just fine by me.  I’m looking forward to the autum and all its glory.  Crisp weather, I can get back to my fitness regime, and I make the most wonderful autumnal meals and goodies.  Autumn is my season.

I’m not quite sure what this place will become in the next couple of months, but I plan to make an effort of writing at least once a week.  Although trivial, some daily life grumblings just might be what the doctor prescribed.

When we arrived in Canada it was warm.  The first week at home welcomed us with temperatures of 20°C – 30°C and it felt fantastic.  The kids were able to play outside and ran around in just diapers, we never needed coats, and I felt good about wearing the new pair of chunky-heeled sandals I had just purchased.  Magnus had a few rough days and we all felt it but he ate icecream and watched the complete pixar collection and after a while things seemed to ease up.  Sophie jumped in with both feet and she seemed to adapt very quickly.  Ørjan seemed to enjoy himself even if he had the same worries as me.  The one thing that did affect us was the food.  Oh god I felt awful each day because the food tasted bad on my tongue.  Simple pleasures like a slice of bread (Where was gluten-free?) or a glass of milk tasted so bitter and I swear I could taste the toxins and hormones.  Meat was full of water, the fruit and vegetables were always shiny at the supermarket, and the yoghurt was completely fat-free and sugar-free and it was almost like eating congealed fruit-milk.  I instantly felt disappointed because I had hoped going back to North America I could get my hands on healthy and whole foods but everything seemed stripped or pumped full extra artificial ingredients and my stomach couldn’t handle it.  During the first week we all suffered from diarrhea or constipation and it was not fun.  I even had to resort to feeding the kids baby cereal for breakfast  just so they could get something nutritious in them.  Oh, it was bad.

Going home is always hard for me because I’m never able to relax.  Maybe it’s the memories of that house, or maybe it’s because I’m so consciencious about my environment, but I was never able to just stop and rest.  I was constantly cleaning, constantly cooking, and constantly itching to get out of there.  I felt slightly trapped.  It also didn’t help that I felt so uncomfortable knowing that my mom’s boyfriend is now living in the house.  I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells in every room I walked into.  Eventually I tried to let go and made an effort to have a good time.  I suppose a little retail therapy did help though.  We bought shoes, clothes, toys, and all those other items that we can’t find in Norway.  We visited friends and family and while it felt good it was always sad knowing we only had a couple of hours together.  We even surprised my mother with a new bedroom and spent many days cleaning her house.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned it but my mother is this—far from being one of those people you might see on hoarders.  (Just another reason why being stuck there got on my nerves.)  I felt miserable not being able to exercise as I usually do, but I did go on a few walks and runs which made me feel better despite never really having the energy.

I love my mom, she is the most generous person I know, but she really got on my nerves when it came to our children.  The first week wasn’t easy on her because she thought the kids made too much noise or that they made too much of a mess.  Eventually she realized that they are kids and embraced their laughter and stickiness, but there was always criticism and I always felt angry when she tried making a point.  Nearing the end it was very sad because she really connected with them and I wasn’t sure what kind of comfort I could offer.  I think I tried to avoid it because I didn’t want to deal with my own feelings of longing.  We did have some talks and we were able to communicate but everything still felt so fragile.  Nearing the end (or what we thought was the end) of our trip we started to say our goodbyes and then everything fell apart.  Suddenly Eyjafjallajökull erupted and everything came to a complete stop.  We were packed and ready to leave and then suddenly we were stranded.

Ørjan and I were under so much stress last week and were almost ready to kill eachother.  We frantically called our travel insurance company, our bank, our employers, and family members.  It could have been worse, we could have been like those thousands that were stranded at airports, but being away from home even longer meant more problems.  It meant the kids would continue to be miserable, it meant Ørjan and I wouldn’t be at work earning money, and it meant another week of struggling to keep it together.  At that point we were short on money and contemplated finding any flight to get us closer to home.  Nothing was available and even flights that could take us across the pacific were off because none wanted to fly to Europe.  At that point we were feeling so low and then wouldn’t you know it, Sophie broke out with chickenpox.  On the 20th day of our trip she finally got chickenpox.  Luckily for us and her she’s a tough girl.  Her outbreak wasn’t as severe as her brother’s and only had several spots on her face, but it was still an awful experience.  It was obvious she was meant to get them on our flight back to London which doesn’t surprise us at all.

What made everything worse was the waiting.  We were originally scheduled to fly out of Toronto on the 17th but the only flight we could be promised was the 25th.  We were basically stranded for 8 more days and each day felt painful.  The kids had been sick, we had to think about the loss of income, and we were very far from home.  At that point it seemed hopeless.  If you follow me on twitter you’ll know just how desperate I had been feeling.  Eventually the week came to an end and we were more than ready to go home.  I took the initiative to pack early even if it killed me.  We came with 2 suitcases and 1 carry-on and left with 4 very full suitcases and 4 heavy carry-ons.

I want to say more about our trip but at this point I’m almost at a loss of words for just how awful most of it had been.  I think after I’ve had some more time to rest and think i’ll be able to write something more positive.  For now I’m trying to forget alot of it any way I can.

Hello world!

It’s been an extremely long time since I’ve posted and I have many reasons why I’ve been avoiding it.  We’ve been traveling since March and it’s quite possible that we won’t make it home until May if you can believe it.  With everything that’s been going on with the volcanic eruption(s) there’s so much to vent about, but this post will only describe the beginning of our trip.  In March we took a few days in London but the fun was short-lived and we barely made it.  We left Saturday, March, 27th, with the night train from Mo I Rana, but due to DST (sommertid) we missed our connecting train in Trondheim.  That’s right, the train company neglected to take the time change into consideration and when we arrived in Trondheim we had to wait to take a bus south to god knows where.   This might have swung but we had a flight to catch but wait, there’s more!  We were flying with British Airways but they decided to go on strike and our original flight for Sunday evening was cancelled.  Due to the strike we had to rebook to an earlier flight that evening.  So where was I?  Half way during the trip the bus driver decided to take a 45 minute break.  At that point we were freaking out.  If we missed our flight we’d have to spend a night in Oslo and might not get another flight until Monday or Tuesday.  (Many flights were cancelled due to the strike.)  We don’t usually get angry but we demanded that the train company either buy us new tickets or get us a taxi to drive us south.  So from Dombås we took a taxi to Lillehammer from where we took a train to the airport in Oslo.  Our taxi driver was fantastic though because she drove the best she could and kept calling the train company so that they’d wait for us in Lillehammer.  We arrived on the minute but she helped us get our suitcases and kids to the platform.  She was amazing and I thank God for her.  What was meant to be an easy 14-hour train ride turned into a day of hell.

We eventually made it to the airport with only 10 minutes before check-in closed.  We checked our bags, got through security, and ran with the kids in our arms so we could get to our gate at the other end of the terminal.  We hugged our kids, tried to calm them on the plane, and then breathed a very heavy sigh of relief when we arrived in London.  London was better than I expected but it a little bittersweet.  We hired a limo to drive us to our hotel (definitely a good idea) and then we tried to relax.  We stuffed our faces with food I brought from Norway along with the extras the hotel bought for us.  After very long showers and an hour of television the kids were sleeping in their beds and Ørjan and I were ready to start our vacation.  On the first day we took in a few sights, bought alot of goodies for the kids, and then took it easy for the night.  On the last day we planned to shop and  take it easy in the city but I ended up hanging out at the hotel with the kids because Magnus wasn’t feeling well.  He seemed to have a little cold and after the hellish travel we endured in Norway I had no problems letting him rest even if it meant losing a day in London. Ørjan spent the day in the city antiquing and shopping for stamps and coins.  I think it worked out for him because he needed some alone-time and the kids needed a rest. For dinner that night we took the kids out for Chinese but ended up going to a McDonalds just so we could buy Happy Meals.  (Which were later tossed minus the toys because they were so disgusting!)

On the morning we were due to leave I noticed Magnus had two spots on his face.  I shrugged it off as nothing because sometimes when he has a fever he gets small spots on his cheeks.  Bad move on our part.  After arriving at the airport he started to get warm again and a few more spots appeared.  At that point we weren’t sure if we were dealing with chickenpox or if it was something less serious.  Either way we knew we were screwed.  We got on our flight and 3 hours into it Magnus exploded with spots.  To say he broke out is an understatement.  To make it short I’ll tell you this much: The flight attendants were nice but scary, I had to be isolated on the plane with Magnus, and then the attendants handed out masks to all the passengers.  Oh dear god it was horrible.  My poor little guy was miserable and there wasn’t much we could do.  Luckily we bought an infant medicine at Boots (at the airport) and he took a little, but having him strip down to a diaper having to fan him to keep his temperature cool was never how I imagined that flight.  Eventually an attendant said things would be ok (after taking our passports and writing down our info) and said paramedics might be meeting us at the airport.  They eventually ruled this out since they believed it was chickenpox and we had a close site of residence from the airport.

So there you go.  I’ve/we’ve taken some pretty disastrous flights but this one definitely takes the cake.  A missed connection due to DST, an airline strike, and chickenpox: DISASTER.  If you’ve come to this point my god you must have patience but it gets even better.  One might think that it couldn’t get any worse but it does.  Join me in our next episode of The Tragic Travels of Candace (and family) where we explore the joys of being stranded due to a volcano!

From Monday the 11th – Thursday the 14th all four of us were in Bodø while Magnus visited the Spesialpedagogisk Senter and the hospital in Bodø.  I’ve touched on it before, but never in depth as I will now.  Our son Magnus (3 years on February, 7th) has a speech/language problem and he is very small (weight) for his age. After a very long process our week was scheduled for the second week in January.  Our trip up north wasn’t the best but we made it… luckily.  (For the locals that read this you’ll completely understand my frustration.)  We decided to take the bus to catch our train, but for some reason our driver missed some passengers in Finneifjørd and decided to turn around at Dalselv to go back and pick them up.  He drove all the way to fucking Dalselv and turned around without notifying us.  Considering we only had about 30 minutes before our train left from Mo i Rana it wasn’t likely we’d make it if we had to turn around.  Ørjan raced up to the front to say we had a train to catch so the driver said it was ok – that he’d drive faster!  Too fast infact because while Sophie sat in my lap she puked all over us not once, but twice!  At that point Ørjan and I agreed it was enough and he demanded the driver take us to Bjerka so we wouldn’t miss our train.  He dropped us off, I ran into the station and ripped out the suitcase so I could put some clean clothes on Sophie and then the train arrived not one minute later.  I had to run to the platform without putting a jacket back on her.  We made it and that’s what’s important, but I wasn’t going to accept missing our first appointment because of the driver.  We made it to the centre later that evening (we stayed at the centre’s family housing) and we all fell asleep around 10.

Our first appointment was at 9am the next day and we (myself and Ørjan) were very nervous.  We were apprehensive about what they’d say but after 10 minutes with them we realized it was going to be a positive process.  It’s not that Magnus doesn’t understand us but he says very little and doesn’t seem to communicate at the level his peers.  At first we were very worried that maybe it was because we speak both English and Norwegian at home but they reassured us that it really has nothing to do with our choices.  After three days of testing and activities some conclusions were made and we all walked away feeling very satisfied and relieved with what they had to say: Magnus is a happy and healthy boy.  During one of the language tests I started to cry a bit because I had never heard Magnus speak so much.  I was so completely surprised and overwhelmed with the level of language and comprehension he has.  He even answered some of her questions in English!  Magnus uses a vocabulary of less than 20 words at home so I was in complete shock when he was speaking short sentences with words I had never come from his mouth.  At the hospital they did some simple tests, observed his movements and abilities, and took a long history.  I can’t say I was completely satisfied with the last day but things happen that we can’t change.  That’s all I’ll say for now.

One thing I do plan to make public is this – Ørjan’s mother has been holding back crucial information.  From the beginning (April 2009) we started this process to have Magnus tested and have help given for his needs.  The entire time his mom has been saying that we’ve been pushing him, that he’s still very young and we have nothing to worry about.  Well now, it seems to be not what she insists.  Her cousin (I work with her) told me that Ørjan was almost four years old when she started to understand what he said.  I started thinking that since Magnus is so like his dad that is has to be more than a conincidence.  From the beginning Magnus’ daycare, PPT, and the pediatric centre have been asking us about our family histories and whether or not any of us have had language difficulties.  This entire time she has refused to provide any information and has refused to accept that Magnus has difficulties.  One of the nights we were in Bodø she called to ask how things went and she conveniently mentioned that Ørjan spent a week in Bodø for testing just like Magnus.  WHAT THE FUCKING HELL?  We had been begging for information and only now she decides to mention this?  I’m extremely disappointed and I can see that Ørjan is feeling something he refuses to confont her with.  I really don’t know what to say to her now.  Hmmmm.

In all it was a very positive experience and I think we’re on our way to seeing some great improvements and achievements from him.  I’ve made it clear that I would like to learn sign language to aid in his needs and now we believe that each day they’ll be providing some private time for him to concentrate on his language skills.

- Og du, helvete du!  Kun ikke du bare si ifra tidligere?  Var det så vanskelig?  Det er mitt barn vi snakker om nå – ikke ditt!  Fortell meg nå hva i helvete problemet er!  Vi har spurt deg flere ganger i det siste året om Ørjan men du har nektet å gi oss informasjon.  Du har nektet å fortelle oss om Ørjan da han var liten, og du prøver å styre over Magnus, men tror du engentlig at det er best for alle?  Nå må du forklare alt du kan fordi nå er jeg ferdig.  Jeg er veldig veldig skuffet og sint.  Du altid har så mye å si og du er veldig flink å klage, så kom igjen nå!  Hvis du vil ikke fortelle meg så må jeg ringe til mor fordi hun or den eneste som har vært ærlig med oss.

I had to get  that off my chest.  It’s been festering since that night she called.

It’s my only day off this week and tomorrow we’re getting a visit from Ørjan’s dad.  (If you didn’t know Ørjan doesn’t have too much contact with his biological father for reasons I can’t get into now.)  It’s my strong belief that when you have guests it’s your obligation and responsibility to treat them with respect and be as hospitable as possible.  Whether you’re hosting a party or just having someone for coffee I feel it’s important to have a clean house, something to offer them, and have everything prepared well in advance.  I feel the same way about being a guest as well – As a guest you must dress your best, bring/offer something, and be well-prepared in advance.  Since Knut (dad) will be picking up the kids from daycare because I have an evening shift there’s plenty to do.

Here’s what I plan to scratch off my list:

• Get Christmas gifts ready
• Detailed cleaning of bathroom(s)
• Detailed cleaning of living room and kitchen
• Vacuum and wash the floors
• Clean the fridge
• Do laundry x3 (plus linens)
• Pilates!
• Print out photos for daycare x2
• Write out Christmas cards
• Homemade lasagne (which means homemade sauce!)
• Tidy bedroom
• Send and research info for Magnus’ hospital trip next month (We’ll be in Bodø [Norlandssykehuset] for a week next month for his testing)
• Upload photos
• Bake oatmeal cookies for visit and work
• Send business plan for Christmas sale
• Late night physio appointment?  (If I can manage to squeeze it in after work!)
• Skim through the 257 unread emails in my inbox
• Blog if there’s any time leftover

The list looks long but I’m determined to accomplish each task and make no excuses!  Now if only we had a little daylight/sunlight my day would be wonderful.  Yeah, it’s early December which means we practically live in darkness for the next month and a half.  Ahhhhhhh!  Maybe I should make some coffee for a quick mood-boost.  I’m already anxious… maybe because I have more energy since I forced myself to eat a bite for breakfast?  Now if only I didn’t have a sleepy kitty on my head this might work out.

I can’t believe how tiny they used to be.  Magnus was born February 7th, 2007, weighing 2040 grams, and Sophie February 13th, 2008, weighing 2875 grams.  I love my big kids so much.

Summer is officially here which means that I’m working all summer.  Fabulous.  My work schedule is just horrendous and any real-life activities and events that I might have planned are most likely taking a back seat.  For the next six weeks I’ll be working six days a week (with only 3 days off during this period) trying to cover the vacation shifts.  I won’t say that I’m pissed, but I’m slightly disappointed by some of the scheduling because I really can’t see some days working out at all.  The combination of too little staff, insuficient experience, and peak delivery days equal madness.  If you happen to see me stressed out at work try to give me a break, ok?

Lately I’ve been more than exhausted and “working to the bone” doesn’t even come close to explaining how I feel some days.  Here’s how my day(s) go:

• Wake up early (6am?) and walk to work
• Work an openining shift and lose complete track of the day
• Walk home, feed the kids, attempt to clean and do some laundry
• In bed by 11-12

I can usually pull this off without too much complaining, but it’s the days when I have to do a closing shift, walk home, eat dinner at 9pm, and then try to squeeze in an hour with Ørjan that kill me.  Why?  Because the next day I have to leave early to open.  My anemia also stretches my physical tolerance and many times I find myself so dizzy and fatigued that I can barely stand.  Oh well.  I guess that’s how it goes for now… but still.  My schedule is really causing some conflicts and stress at home since Ørjan is the husmor now.  I ask him to do simple tasks like vacuum or tidy the kitchen but when I come home I see nothing has been done.  I work all day, still make dinner (prepare it early or the night before when I have a closing shift), do all the laundry and cleaning, and have only an hour or two with the kids at the most.  I feel burned out.  I need another vacation.  I like my job (working with food and people is fun) but everything combined is starting to pull me down.  Working full time again means more money but I feel like there’s just more chaos in my life than before.  At least mid-August brings full time daycare placement for both Magnus and Sophie and hopefully more order into our house.

Ouf.  I’m so exhausted.  Despite the fact that I have to be at work early tomorrow morning I just might open that bottle of wine I won from work’s cactus pool.  The kids are in bed early, most of the housework is taken care of, and we have some gorgeous weather this evening… why not?

I can’t believe it’s been two weeks since I last updated but you’d better believe I’m happy that time is just flying by.  We have a toddler(s)-free mini vacation planned from the 28th until July 2nd.  We’ll be in Trondheim eating, sleeping, eating, shopping, (insert something intimate here), and sleeping.  After our brief getaway we’re heading back up north to Onøy for a family reunion.  It’s a bit of a shame that we’ll be missing some of the festival this year due to my work schedule and our travel plans but it’s not the worst situation.

I’m really trying to think about something to write here but I’m much too distracted by an episode of Oprah featuring a Sex Dr.  Oh dear god.  I like these type of episodes but haven’t we heard this all before?  If you’re wondering why I’m even mentioning this is because I’m home – I’m home during the middle of the day because my shift doesn’t start until 1.  Rare, but extremely lovely.  I’ve been working like crazy and some days I’m too exhausted to function but I’m also bringing in more money than before and I/we live much more comfortably.  Renovation projects are being completed, supplies are being ordered and paid for, and for once I actually have money in my secret vacation fund.

The kids are doing well and there’s not too much to worry about now.  Last week however Sophie was at the hospital.  Now before you start gasping it isn’t what you think.  I wish I could explain it, but she woke up one morning and her left arm was limp and sore to the touch.  After some x-rays the doctor explained that some children only experience joint dislocation once, but some children can suffer from it several times.  This news didn’t offer any kind of relief by the way but at least she’s back to her old joyful self.

If only this weather would improve.  It’s mid-June and it’s only 11°C.  I need some heat!

• Print new ads and menus for work
• Organize and overhaul flickr account(s)
• Design suggested menu1 for the BOF festival (so excited!)
• Upload a zillion+1 photos
• Submit birthday order for mum
• Send sis her moving-out/housewarming package
• Submit H&M order (yay for -%25!)
• Revise current CV
• Send package to Øyvind
• Send surprise to mum
• Wash clothes and iron in tags for daycare
• Submit new time schedule for work
• Laundry!
• Organize lunches and dinners for the next weeks
• Transfer funds for the big win
• Work like a maniac and completely abandon my sanity
• Buy Ørjan’s birthday gift