When we arrived in Canada it was warm.  The first week at home welcomed us with temperatures of 20°C – 30°C and it felt fantastic.  The kids were able to play outside and ran around in just diapers, we never needed coats, and I felt good about wearing the new pair of chunky-heeled sandals I had just purchased.  Magnus had a few rough days and we all felt it but he ate icecream and watched the complete pixar collection and after a while things seemed to ease up.  Sophie jumped in with both feet and she seemed to adapt very quickly.  Ørjan seemed to enjoy himself even if he had the same worries as me.  The one thing that did affect us was the food.  Oh god I felt awful each day because the food tasted bad on my tongue.  Simple pleasures like a slice of bread (Where was gluten-free?) or a glass of milk tasted so bitter and I swear I could taste the toxins and hormones.  Meat was full of water, the fruit and vegetables were always shiny at the supermarket, and the yoghurt was completely fat-free and sugar-free and it was almost like eating congealed fruit-milk.  I instantly felt disappointed because I had hoped going back to North America I could get my hands on healthy and whole foods but everything seemed stripped or pumped full extra artificial ingredients and my stomach couldn’t handle it.  During the first week we all suffered from diarrhea or constipation and it was not fun.  I even had to resort to feeding the kids baby cereal for breakfast  just so they could get something nutritious in them.  Oh, it was bad.

Going home is always hard for me because I’m never able to relax.  Maybe it’s the memories of that house, or maybe it’s because I’m so consciencious about my environment, but I was never able to just stop and rest.  I was constantly cleaning, constantly cooking, and constantly itching to get out of there.  I felt slightly trapped.  It also didn’t help that I felt so uncomfortable knowing that my mom’s boyfriend is now living in the house.  I constantly felt like I was walking on eggshells in every room I walked into.  Eventually I tried to let go and made an effort to have a good time.  I suppose a little retail therapy did help though.  We bought shoes, clothes, toys, and all those other items that we can’t find in Norway.  We visited friends and family and while it felt good it was always sad knowing we only had a couple of hours together.  We even surprised my mother with a new bedroom and spent many days cleaning her house.  I’m not sure if I’ve ever mentioned it but my mother is this—far from being one of those people you might see on hoarders.  (Just another reason why being stuck there got on my nerves.)  I felt miserable not being able to exercise as I usually do, but I did go on a few walks and runs which made me feel better despite never really having the energy.

I love my mom, she is the most generous person I know, but she really got on my nerves when it came to our children.  The first week wasn’t easy on her because she thought the kids made too much noise or that they made too much of a mess.  Eventually she realized that they are kids and embraced their laughter and stickiness, but there was always criticism and I always felt angry when she tried making a point.  Nearing the end it was very sad because she really connected with them and I wasn’t sure what kind of comfort I could offer.  I think I tried to avoid it because I didn’t want to deal with my own feelings of longing.  We did have some talks and we were able to communicate but everything still felt so fragile.  Nearing the end (or what we thought was the end) of our trip we started to say our goodbyes and then everything fell apart.  Suddenly Eyjafjallajökull erupted and everything came to a complete stop.  We were packed and ready to leave and then suddenly we were stranded.

Ørjan and I were under so much stress last week and were almost ready to kill eachother.  We frantically called our travel insurance company, our bank, our employers, and family members.  It could have been worse, we could have been like those thousands that were stranded at airports, but being away from home even longer meant more problems.  It meant the kids would continue to be miserable, it meant Ørjan and I wouldn’t be at work earning money, and it meant another week of struggling to keep it together.  At that point we were short on money and contemplated finding any flight to get us closer to home.  Nothing was available and even flights that could take us across the pacific were off because none wanted to fly to Europe.  At that point we were feeling so low and then wouldn’t you know it, Sophie broke out with chickenpox.  On the 20th day of our trip she finally got chickenpox.  Luckily for us and her she’s a tough girl.  Her outbreak wasn’t as severe as her brother’s and only had several spots on her face, but it was still an awful experience.  It was obvious she was meant to get them on our flight back to London which doesn’t surprise us at all.

What made everything worse was the waiting.  We were originally scheduled to fly out of Toronto on the 17th but the only flight we could be promised was the 25th.  We were basically stranded for 8 more days and each day felt painful.  The kids had been sick, we had to think about the loss of income, and we were very far from home.  At that point it seemed hopeless.  If you follow me on twitter you’ll know just how desperate I had been feeling.  Eventually the week came to an end and we were more than ready to go home.  I took the initiative to pack early even if it killed me.  We came with 2 suitcases and 1 carry-on and left with 4 very full suitcases and 4 heavy carry-ons.

I want to say more about our trip but at this point I’m almost at a loss of words for just how awful most of it had been.  I think after I’ve had some more time to rest and think i’ll be able to write something more positive.  For now I’m trying to forget alot of it any way I can.

It’s almost here!

Stupid me volunteered to take an extra shift on Saturday which means I won’t have the time to place my order online. Luckily I saved and organized a list for Ørjan so he can do it for me that morning. (If he doesn’t forget!) It was smart to take the shift because I’ll need the money to pay for my order ($300+ US) but it’ll mean yet another Saturday spent at work. Sigh. All in a day’s work I guess? It’s a good thing that a Saturday shift pays around $400.

In the past two days I think I’ve spent more than $700 CAD on jackets and coats for the family and I’m confident that I’m not even finished.  For the past couple of years I’ve been either too big to wear my usual wool pea coat (two pregnancies during winter) and even had to borrow one from my mother-in-law, or I just couldn’t be bothered to go out and spend the money on a good jacket.  In Norway there’s no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothes not suited for the weather.  Yesterday I was set on buying a new winter coat but it never really happened.  Monika (friend-neighbour-coworker) and I went to a couple places but I ended up buying this coat from Kappahl.  I ended up getting 25% off because I’m a coop member and that ain’t that bad.  We walked across to Wagner and ended up getting Ørjan a coat somewhat similar to the one I bought, but it’s a men’s coat and there are no girlie buttons.  He needs a dress coat for events this winter and I don’t think he’s ever owned one!  Ørjan called me during the afternoon to find  out if I had purchased a jacket because our local sports shop was having a closing sale and there was a good chance I could find myself a decent jacket from Bergans of Norway or Skogstad.  If you live here you know just how expensive these can run so a sale of 20%-70% is always good.  I came home feeling slightly disappointed that I didn’t get the jacket I needed but knew there was still time.

Today at lunch Emira reminded me of the sale at the sports shop so I ran over during my last 15 minutes of my break.  In just 10 minutes I walked out with 3 jackets and 1 sweater for just over Kr 2200.  (Around $400 US)  I know it seems a bit crazy, but if you don’t dress for the weather over here you’re completely miserable.  I didn’t get my winter jacket but I did pick up a great softshell jacket in purple, and hehe, the same style for Ørjan’s jacket.  (Honestly, I didn’t intend to buy his and her jackets!)  I did find a great softshell jacket (darkchocolate/blue) for Magnus.  I also picked up a basic black Umbro zip-hoodie for Ørjan.  Not sure if it’ll be a Christmas gift or a Father’s Day gift (Norway celebrates it in November) from the kids.

I think that tomorrow during my lunchbreak I’m going to make an effort to find something for Sophie. Whether it be winterwear or something she can use for daycare (they need so much for daycare) I’m determined to find her something. Now I’m going to attempt to find a winter jacket for myself online (H&M or Ellos maybe?) so that I can just be finished with this hunt.

I woke up this morning feeling so awful because I didn’t sleep at all (Magnus’ diarrhea was a nightmare during the night) and I had to get up earlier to go to work.  I barely had time to check my mail when I remembered today is Thursday – The first day that H&M Home is available online!  Needless to say that I raced home from work at sat myself down infront of my laptop (which btw is backwards and blank since Orjan fixed it) and obsessed over which items I really wanted.  One of the major bedding items I wanted to order isn’t available until the 26th, so those items that I was considering today might be purchased next week. I also jumped on items today because I have a feeling that many won’t be in stock for very long. My total purchase however wasn’t a complete waste since I bought a couple things for Magnus  and a few cosmetic items for myself.

As for what I ordered?  The 100% Pure Love and Green Means Harmony cushion covers/pillows are meant for the bedroom, Yellow Is For Friendship will sit pretty in the sofa, and a few kitchen items are meant as gifts.  There is so much more I wanted but I still want to think about what is actually necessary and what I could probably do without.  I can’t wait for my order to arrive!

Call me crazy for being so excited, but H&M Home Fashion will be available for order on February 19th!  I just ordered myself a catalogue and can’t wait to shop online!  (Hourray for living in Norway!)  I know in my previous post I mentioned that it wasn’t exactly in our budget but we just received kr 8200,00 in reimbursement from our travel insurance company so I know that I can at least splurge on a couple of items.

I’ve been anxiously waiting for the Home line to arrive (rumoured to be released in February) at H&M since December and now that it’s almost here I feel slightly sad because the economy is just so terrible.  Ørjan and I were thinking about taking a trip to the south to hit up IKEA, Ahlens, and H&M but I’m not sure our budget will stretch that far.  Of course items are reasonably priced but I’ve got to pull myself together and save up for something big next summer.  (I’ll write about this later!)  In any case, if you haven’t read or seen articles and pictures of the upcoming line be sure to check out husmen, hm.com, and bolig.  According to Bolig prices vary from around Kr 40 to Kr 120 for pillows, and Kr 120 to Kr 400 for bedding. Isn’t this even more exciting than the Marimekko line?

I suppose the great thing about living in Norway is that we’ll be able to shop for this stuff online next month.  If only February would get here already!

It’s amost 8pm and now I can honestly say I feel better.  I’m lying on the sofa trying to catch up with 1000+ unread feeds while Yentl is playing in the background.  We just finished a late dinner, Sophie is finally sleeping, and I’m doing even more online shopping.  With the lack of time and opportunities to shop for our family I just found it easier to do most of it online.  Ebay, Delight, Roots, and a few catalogue shops have made it such a relief instead of a last-minute headache.

Today was a hard and very trying day as Sophie slept less than two hours (since 6am) and her teething is making her such a crankypants.  At least Magnus had a good day and he’s been much more independent drinking directly from a glass and feeding himself lunch.  We took away his bottle cold turkey and he whined for a couple of days, but now he’s so interested in drinking just like adults that I don’t think he’ll ever want a bottle again. Now if we could only get him potty-trained!  He’s not even two yet but we’re starting to see signs that he’s able to communicate his business.  With so little time to myself today I managed to eat a small bowl of rice for breakfast, an oatmeal cookie at noon, and small bowl of couscous for lunch.  I’d hardly call it nutritious but it was all I could manage.  Not only was I hungry, but I was dirty!  It was after 3pm when I was able to get myself into the shower.  Seeing as how my previous shower was 6am yesterday morning and I had worked out while Magnus ate lunch I was feeling extremely shitty.  No food, no shower, and a house with two screaming kids – Wonderful!  Not everyday is so frustrating but today was particularly rough.

To make matters worse my period is causing such major discomfort.  I know it’s to my IUD but the obscene amount of bleeding, clotting (golfballs!), and the pain is really getting to me.  I almost passed out on the floor yesterday while making dinner.  I’ve been trying to get control of my anemia but lately I’ve been careless.  I can never seem to keep track of my periods either since they come every 6-8 weeks and last anywhere from 8-12 days.

I think Ørjan’s been seeing just how miserable I’ve been and has been so helpful without me even asking or nagging.  He’s been helping with the kids, tidying up after dinner and before bed, and has even let me squeeze in a nap twice this week.  I tell you it’s not nights of crazy passion but it’s the small things that really make you realize that you married the right man.  Now if only this crazy weather would settle down.  In the past week we’ve had two huge snowfalls that have melted away after a day of rain.  Everything is covered with a few centimetres of snow and the skies still have flurries as I write this, but who knows whether it’ll be here tomorrow.  Walking and pushing the babywagon in the snow is a bit harder, but it’s better than being splattered with slush when cars drive by carelessly.

I’ve been in a really horrible mood lately and it shows.  I have no energy, no drive, and certainly no patience for the things I can usually tolerate and tackle.  At least I managed to get out samples of my Christmas Cookies for this year.  I’ve done so much work planning and managing how big this could be, but sometime I turned into a huge chickenshit and started to consider just dumping the idea since we’ll be pressed for time this year.  I made spreadsheets, revised my budget and inventory, and even made and froze the dough so that I could bake the cookie samples quickly, but with so much accomplished I still felt like I was missing something – the drive to actually do it.  I really want to get my goods out this year but my mood is really dragging me down.  Hopefully when my period is over I’ll be back in full-force and ready to take this on again.  I’m completely committed to this, but it’s been such a rough week that I wish I could go back to two weeks ago when I was so excited.

It’s going on 9pm now so I should probably head off.  Magnus had a longer nap this afternoon so he’s still up but at least sitting quietly next to me looking at a book.  I love that he can sit for an hour just looking at his favourite books without making a sound.  I also love that I have a husband that can sit so quietly doing genealogy archiving without making a sound.

Oh, and this year I’m really considering getting a spark.

Vacation is over and I’m finally beginning to get back into the groove of things once again.  It took me much too long to adjust to my post-vacation belonging but now I feel so motivated to do things around the house now that I have more time and energy.  One of my bigger projects is to take on Magnus and Sophie’s bedrooms.  Slowly but surely I will get them done and hopefully within this year!  I’ve been patiently waiting for the right times to purchase items needed for their rooms (shelving, furniture, decor) and now I just want to get it over with before it’s too late!  I was surprised when I saw that favoritsaker updated their site with new wall decals from Ferm Living.

I’m thinking about getting the blue or yellow animal decal for Magnus’ room and maybe order something for our bedroom since we skipped out on getting the wallpaper that we really wanted.  I know that I said I wanted to start saving some money, but for something like this I’m willing to break that promise I made… just this once!

• I was offered an amazing job. I won’t go into much detail now but I am still grinning. If only I had the time to accept it now. Hopefully when I’m ready to return back to the working world it will still be open.
• Futureshop’s photo programme is closing and are moving their clients over to the kodakgallery. As a thankyou and new welcome gift, all current customers were given 100 free 4×6 prints. Although I’m not in Canada, I thought uploading and ordering prints would be a fabulous idea. It would make a great gift for my mom to have photos of the kids (since she’s missing out on them growing up) and she could also pass them along to other family members over there.
• Yet another reason why I love ThisNext: Mavens received $10.00 gift certificates for iTunes. I’m not sure whether I’ll use it, but you never know.
• Sales, shopping, and steals: With a new season approaching there have been massive sales online at Ellos and H&M. Although I probably only spent $50 on myself, I have spent over $300 on clothes for the kids. Hey – when there’s a sale you need to stock up! Kids grow up fast and they always need new clothes for all seasons and occasions. We’ve also picked up items and antiques for our new home at various second-hand shops. I will post pics later when I find the time.