It’s been an extremely long time since I’ve posted and I have many reasons why I’ve been avoiding it. We’ve been traveling since March and it’s quite possible that we won’t make it home until May if you can believe it. With everything that’s been going on with the volcanic eruption(s) there’s so much to vent about, but this post will only describe the beginning of our trip. In March we took a few days in London but the fun was short-lived and we barely made it. We left Saturday, March, 27th, with the night train from Mo I Rana, but due to DST (sommertid) we missed our connecting train in Trondheim. That’s right, the train company neglected to take the time change into consideration and when we arrived in Trondheim we had to wait to take a bus south to god knows where. This might have swung but we had a flight to catch but wait, there’s more! We were flying with British Airways but they decided to go on strike and our original flight for Sunday evening was cancelled. Due to the strike we had to rebook to an earlier flight that evening. So where was I? Half way during the trip the bus driver decided to take a 45 minute break. At that point we were freaking out. If we missed our flight we’d have to spend a night in Oslo and might not get another flight until Monday or Tuesday. (Many flights were cancelled due to the strike.) We don’t usually get angry but we demanded that the train company either buy us new tickets or get us a taxi to drive us south. So from Dombås we took a taxi to Lillehammer from where we took a train to the airport in Oslo. Our taxi driver was fantastic though because she drove the best she could and kept calling the train company so that they’d wait for us in Lillehammer. We arrived on the minute but she helped us get our suitcases and kids to the platform. She was amazing and I thank God for her. What was meant to be an easy 14-hour train ride turned into a day of hell.
We eventually made it to the airport with only 10 minutes before check-in closed. We checked our bags, got through security, and ran with the kids in our arms so we could get to our gate at the other end of the terminal. We hugged our kids, tried to calm them on the plane, and then breathed a very heavy sigh of relief when we arrived in London. London was better than I expected but it a little bittersweet. We hired a limo to drive us to our hotel (definitely a good idea) and then we tried to relax. We stuffed our faces with food I brought from Norway along with the extras the hotel bought for us. After very long showers and an hour of television the kids were sleeping in their beds and Ørjan and I were ready to start our vacation. On the first day we took in a few sights, bought alot of goodies for the kids, and then took it easy for the night. On the last day we planned to shop and take it easy in the city but I ended up hanging out at the hotel with the kids because Magnus wasn’t feeling well. He seemed to have a little cold and after the hellish travel we endured in Norway I had no problems letting him rest even if it meant losing a day in London. Ørjan spent the day in the city antiquing and shopping for stamps and coins. I think it worked out for him because he needed some alone-time and the kids needed a rest. For dinner that night we took the kids out for Chinese but ended up going to a McDonalds just so we could buy Happy Meals. (Which were later tossed minus the toys because they were so disgusting!)
On the morning we were due to leave I noticed Magnus had two spots on his face. I shrugged it off as nothing because sometimes when he has a fever he gets small spots on his cheeks. Bad move on our part. After arriving at the airport he started to get warm again and a few more spots appeared. At that point we weren’t sure if we were dealing with chickenpox or if it was something less serious. Either way we knew we were screwed. We got on our flight and 3 hours into it Magnus exploded with spots. To say he broke out is an understatement. To make it short I’ll tell you this much: The flight attendants were nice but scary, I had to be isolated on the plane with Magnus, and then the attendants handed out masks to all the passengers. Oh dear god it was horrible. My poor little guy was miserable and there wasn’t much we could do. Luckily we bought an infant medicine at Boots (at the airport) and he took a little, but having him strip down to a diaper having to fan him to keep his temperature cool was never how I imagined that flight. Eventually an attendant said things would be ok (after taking our passports and writing down our info) and said paramedics might be meeting us at the airport. They eventually ruled this out since they believed it was chickenpox and we had a close site of residence from the airport.
So there you go. I’ve/we’ve taken some pretty disastrous flights but this one definitely takes the cake. A missed connection due to DST, an airline strike, and chickenpox: DISASTER. If you’ve come to this point my god you must have patience but it gets even better. One might think that it couldn’t get any worse but it does. Join me in our next episode of The Tragic Travels of Candace (and family) where we explore the joys of being stranded due to a volcano!
I have no idea where this came from but for the past couple of days I’ve been seriously ill. Friday morning seemed like any other Friday: Up before 6:00, kids at daycare for 7:45, and I was at work grilling before 8:00. I had what we call a “loose tummy” that morning but I chalked it up to poor eating. Suddenly into the first 15 minutes I started to feel serious pain in my shoulders and arms. I started to feel dizzy and achy and all morning I was running to the toilet every chance I could. Thank god Ørjan finishes work early on Fridays because I called him in a panic and he rushed over with some helpful tablets. I thought that maybe it just might be indigestion but later that night I had a seriously high fever and I was running to the toilet every 5 minutes. At one point it felt like labour pains because I had so much pain and they seemed to come on like contractions. Now I’m at the point where my stomach is gurgling like Homer in Homerpalooza. I’ve been trying to eat because after 2 days of nothing I’m starting to feel it, but each time I try to eat I just become more and more nauseous. Ørjan’s been really great at taking care of the kids , running errands, and letting me rest, but I’d rather be on my feet right now because I hate being sick and whiny.
It’s after 2am and I’m still awake. I just want to sleep and nothing more. And did I mention that I just finished the period from hell? No really, I haven’t had one this bad since I was a teenager. Effing hormones.
I’ve been taking my multivitamins and supplements and have been trying to squeeze in more fruit. I just got so tired of not feeling good that I decided to do the easiest thing possible and changed my diet. I still eat very poorly but I am making an effort to eat more and eat better foods. It’s hard to find time to eat but the moments I do have involve high-fiber and high-energy foods. I’ve also cut down on the amount of meat I’ve eaten and I really think it’s made a huge difference for my digestion. (When you take iron supplements trust me, you need something to ahem… get you going.)
I haven’t had alot of time to squeeze in my usual cardio routine but I’ve made sure to do pilates at least three times a week. I guess it’s really paying off because I feel better and I definitely feel more flexible. I have to confess that I also feel fabulous because my clothes (old clothes that I’ve been pulling out of storage) fit! Unfortunately, and it’s not like I’m complaining, some of my favourite jeans are now so big that they look horrible. They look so baggy and sag on my bum and everytime I go out in them I feel like I should be featured on “What Not To Wear”. It’s incredibly satisfying knowing that my body is changing and all the skin on my stomach that was stretched due to my pregnancies is finally firming up, but I’m at a point where I’m not sure if I want to buy new clothes until I get down to my first real goal. Right now I’m just happy knowing that despite all the doubt I’ve had about my weight/appearance others are noticing and it actually is visible. Last weekend at work someone stopped me and actually put their hands up around my waist and commented about how much smaller I am. Good stuff
I still haven’t been able to squeeze in more sleep but I’m trying to be positive and convince myself that it’ll get easier after the holidays are over. We’ll see. But hey, I can’t help it if they broadcast Rick Stein and Gary Rhodes specials late at night!
Last Thursday I thought about throwing myself down the stairs at work. I was going down to the basement to look for some cases of tynnribbe and just couldn’t do it. No I’m not suicidal nor do I have serious thoughts about harming myself, but at that moment I was on the point of breaking and thought it would be an easy out. I came back to work too early after being sick and was probably running on a battery of 20% capacity. My back was still sore and my hips felt like they were going to break. When I got sick again last week I wasn’t able to eat or sleep properly due to the pain and the fever, and when I started to try eating again it never really happened. I maybe eat one meal a day and I realize my lack of energy is solely my fault. I’ve been forcing myself to eat and try to get something down, but it makes my stomach hurt even more. There are a million things going on outside of my chaotic life at work and I feel like I’m drowing. I’m surprised the stress isn’t causing my hair to fall out yet. Every other day I think about taking a sick leave because my backpain is getting to be all too much but then stupid me becomes overwhelmed with guilt. I need to figure this out soon because at the rate I’m going I’ll exhaust myself to a level that might be irreversible. My mental health is suffering because I’m too gutless to ask for help and say what I really feel.
Physically I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on. I’ve cut out many foods that are high in gluten and it’s definitely helped. Today I had a few spoonfulls of pasta (the kids refused to finish their lunch) and not even 5 minutes later I felt incredibly bloated and felt like vomiting. I’ve been taking multi-vitamins and taking iron tablets again. I can’t say that I feel any difference but I know when I wake up in the morning I can cope better. Now if I could only get in some more sleep. It’s really not for a lack of trying but many nights I wake up several times and it takes me at least an hour to fall back asleep. I’m lucky if I manage 5 hours of quality sleep. I think with all the stress and lack of eating I’ve also lost some weight which should be a good thing, but I feel so incredibly lousy and drained that it hardly seems worth it. My muscles are probably shrinking as I type this. Someone commented that I looked skinnier and I guess that’s a good thing, but I feel malnourished and that’s never been my goal.
I have tomorrow off. I actually have a real day off. I should probably just try to rest and maybe eat something but with the holidays just around the corner I have no time to take care of myself. It’ll have to wait. I’m just so tired and want to rest for at least a week without any interruptions.
I have the start of a lamb stew cooking on the stove, I’ve already started laundry, and soon I’ll start cleaning the house. Hopefully I’ll be able to get in a quick workout (cardio and pilates) before I head off to work. I had to take a day off tomorrow because Magnus and Sophie’s daycare is moving to another location so I’ll be home with the kids but it won’t be easy because oops! – I also have a meeting with a client. Tomorrow I’ll be meeting with someone and discussing ideas and plans for their wedding cake. I’ve also met with Yvonne and looks like November and December will be crazy. Events are planned for every Sunday which means Christmas-Baking-Madness! The menu needs to finalized, calls need to be made to the distributor, and advertising needs to be stepped up. Serving Christmas dinners (remember, it’s fine dining – not kro food!) and inclusive desserts will be so much work but I’m ready for it. If only I had the time and patience to organize everything efficiently. I can, but I easily become overwhelmed because like an idiot, I always take too much on because I love the euphoric feeling of stress. I work weekends (practically double shifts on Saturdays), volunteer for more hours, and then have housework and the responsibility of two small children to balance. I foresee a serious period of burn-out but for now I’ll just have to push myself a little harder.
Lately my health has just been ok. I’ve been getting in more exercise and eating reasonably better than before. I don’t think I’ve ever really mentioned it but over the past couple of years (especially after the birth of my children) I’ve definitely noticed my intolerance to gluten. I’m not exactly ready to self-diagnose but all signs point to celiac disease. At this point this and my anemia seem to walk hand in hand. I’ve been testing myself with certain meals and it’s quite obvious that I’m reacting to certain foods (especially those high in gluten) and I can be quite ill for up to 2-3 days. I hadn’t really considered it before but now I have to wonder if it affected Magnus’ lack of fetal growth in the womb. (He was full-term at 37 weeks but weighed what a 30-week would weigh.) For someone that works with food and is constantly testing recipes to serve, this is going to be problematic and more stress than anything else. I don’t want to deal with this at all right now but how can I ignore something this serious? I can’t. Oh, and I’ve been seriously thinking about heading down the vegetarian road again. It’s not that I have anything against eating meat, (and of course I’ll have to prepare it for work), but I don’t think it’s something that’s right for me at this time in my life. We shall see.
It’s now after 10am and I feel like I’m already so far behind in my schedule that I’ll probably have to put some coffee on. At least I don’t have to work until 4pm today and I should be able to cope with a late evening shift.
I made a promise to myself to do nothing on my day off but I completely broke that promise around 1pm. Usually on my days off I try to clean, exercise, shop, bake or cook, or even run some errands, but today I just wanted to relax and do nothing. I thought I might even try taking a nap (I’ve been sleeping very little in the past two weeks) but it just never happened. I had House on in the background while I did a detailed cleaning of the living room in an attempt to keep me relaxed. Instead of avoiding my usual list I kicked my own butt and stuck to my usual routine without too much guilt. I did my usual cardio and pilates, cleaned, and even managed to have dinner ready on time.
I’ve been thinking about changing my exercise routine because lately I feel it’s not as challenging. I feel that I’m definitely in better shape than a couple of months ago and my flexibility and stamina have improved but I demand more. I expect more. By March/April 2010 I’d like to be about 10 kg lighter than I am now. I don’t think it’s an unrealistic goal but I know it’s going to be somewhat of a struggle the first 4 weeks because I know I need to kick two things: sugar, and smoking. I haven’t really said much on here but I’ve started smoking at work. 3-4 cigarettes a day doesn’t seem like so much but add up the week and subtotal the month and it’s way too much. It’s an expensive and dirty habit that I kicked for many years and I feel very disappointed in myself for lapsing back. I want to get healthier and smoking is not going to help at all. Uff. As far as sugar goes I know I need to stop nibbling on chocolate. I don’t scarf down a whole chocolate bar or “candy bar” but the fact that I have cravings tells me I need to cut it out all together. Sugar and smoking do not equal weightloss.
Anyhow. Back to House and then maybe some late-night pilates before bed.
Only days ago I posted about just how sick I was, and jeez, wouldn’t you know it, I got sick again. Or maybe I just never got better? Sunday night I was puking my guts out and making trips to the toilet every ten minutes. I thought perhaps it was something I had eaten but Ørjan ate the same foods as I did and there was nothing wrong with him. The next morning after very little sleep and nausea like you wouldn’t believe I went downstairs to wake the kids for daycare and oh… my… god. The mess! Both Magnus and Sophie had diarrhea and vomited during the night. You can just guess what my reaction and mood were at this point. The only lucky break at this point was that I had this Monday off, right? Wrong. They asked me if I could come in and cover a shift that evening. Like an idiot I took it thinking I would be well enough to work since I was no longer vomiting. I tried to rest in the afternoon since the kids mostly slept, but after a day of non-stop laundry and cleaning their vomit I was hardly in the mood to work. When I arrived home I asked Ørjan about the kids and then passed out on the sofa. Now it’s Tuesday morning and I’m attempting to eat some solids. I ate a few tablespoons of soup and some flatbread and I think I’ll even try some bread before work. I suppose a banana might be a good idea too. Sophie seems to be doing much better and has her appetite back, but Magnus is still a bit moody and quiet. There hasn’t been any diarrhea or vomit from either of them so that’s an extra bonus. I just hope that by tomorrow they’ll be well enough to go back to daycare. As far as myself… Ugh… I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’m getting sick too often and it’s starting to break me. As soon as I get over this last round of whatever I have, I’m making a promise to myself to eat better and quit all the things I said I’d quit.
Some good news: Ørjan’s back at work. Finally. Some bad news: Both Magnus and I were/are very sick.
On Wednesday they called me at work saying I needed to come pick up Magnus from daycare. My first immediate reaction was, “Great… if Ørjan wasn’t at work he could have picked him up”, but since he just started back that day I realized I would have to be the one to get him. So I get there and I assumed that he was incredibly sick but they said he was cranky and was warm. Ok, but was it so serious that I had to leave immediately? I wasn’t looking forward to the walk home since it was pouring but when I brought him home it went much better. He ate a big lunch and then told me he wanted to nap. Perfect, right? I was slightly upset that I had to leave work but it was a good thing I did because a couple hours later I had chills and then a fever kicked in. All night and all the next day I was either too hot or too cold and constantly had to throw myself in the shower to warm up or cool down. I felt so awful that I ended up calling someone (Ørjan’s mum’s cousin – we work together, it’s not like I call random people) to take them to daycare. I could barely stand and I was so dizzy that I actually missed two steps and smacked my head against the wall. I wasn’t 100% happy about sending Magnus back to daycare if he wasn’t well, but he didn’t seem warm and honestly if I was going to rest up I couldn’t do it with two screaming kids. I also caved and called in sick. I hate having to call in sick for two reasons: I feel like I’m letting others down, and I feel disappointed in myself for getting sick and not doing the best I can.
Thursday was supposed to be my day off but I spent all day and all evening in bed or in the shower. I barely moved, barely spoke, and was so dizzy that I needed some help actually walking to the toilet. I guess my fever broke during the night because I no longer feel like I’m on fire, but I have so little strength and I’m still so dizzy. I managed to walk the kids to daycare but I looked and felt like a zombie. You know how zombies tend to drag their other leg behind them… Yeah, I had one of those walks. The usual 10 minute walk took me almost half an hour.
Now I’m back in bed with my Buckley’s hoping that by tomorrow this will all be over. I hate being sick. Hate it hate it hate it. Magnus on the other hand seems just as happy and healthy as he did three days ago. He had to have picked something up from daycare there’s no doubt, but whatever it was he recovered quickly. And thank you god – for once we caught a break and Sophie didn’t get sick.
I am so busy I almost don’t have the time to breathe. Seriously.
Right now I’m trying to hold out with my tablets but my god do they taste horrible. I can however say that they work fast. We’ve tried sprinkling the kids’ pacifiers with pepper and now I realize just how evil this is. I smoke anywhere from 1-3 cigarettes a day and it’s all too much no matter the amount. I don’t think the tablets will really make me quit but at least they curb my cravings and that’s important for me right now.
I haven’t really been thinking (preoccupied) about my weight or weightloss lately but I guess it doesn’t matter because I feel a change. I haven’t weighed myself in ages but I see and feel that my clothes fit better than ever. Last weekend when we were going into Mo for the day I put on a pair of jeans and damn they sagged. I decided that I wasn’t going to walk around town with my pants falling off my ass so I searched through the closet and found very old jeans that I bought over 7 years ago. I thought they’d be tight but they buttoned up quite nicely and guess what – no buldges! Even my old work pants are sagging. (Those that have seen me at work lately – tell me you haven’t noticed!) I’ve actually resorted to using safety pins to take them in. Thank god the new uniforms that we ordered are almost ready to be unveiled. The only problem is that although I feel I’m losing some weight, my muscle tone completely sucks.
My arms are soft, my stomach is wobbly (Have I ever mentioned what my second pregnancy did to my left side?), and I really feel shorter. My posture stinks. My legs however are awesome due to walking 2.4 km everyday to and from work. I’ve never really worked out much but after several mornings being forced to watch informercials (takk, Viasat 4!) I went and ordered something. Maybe Winsor Pilates is for me? Who knows. I’m sure it would be better if I took a class, but I just don’t have the time or opportunity for that right now.
In two weeks when both Magnus and Sophie will be attending daycare full time I plan on adding more workouts to my daily routine. I should probably start eating better too… but who knows if that will happen. I barely have time to eat as it is. Sigh.
After a week of feeling like crap things finally seem to be looking brighter for us. I feel like lately this place has turned into a diarrhea-blog instead of my personal log… but honestly (literally and figuratively) it’s been shit. I somehow managed to be the only one that escaped the virus after just a couple of days, but the kids ended up getting it and it was definitely not pretty. At least they’re recovering and seem to be in a better mood. The rest of this post is rather random but oh well.
The sun is finally breaking its way back up to our parts and it feels great. Of course it means that we’re still getting around 10cm of snow per day and it doesn’t make walking to work any easier, but oh well. At least I don’t have to walk to and from work in the dark now!
It feels so good to be out and working again. I love my kids but after two years of being a stay at home mum I needed to get back out there.
I’ve been managing to avoid coffee at work and I feel better about not even having a cup in the morning.
We’re finally making concrete plans about the renovation of our bedroom and have already agreed on colours and wallpaper. (Greys and earthy tones with wallpaper from Ferm Living) I compromised and we’re going for a much more grown-up look that he likes more.
Husband has been helping out with the kids more than I ever expected. I’m still the one doing the cooking and cleaning, but at least he’s been taking most of the diapers.
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