It’s been almost two months since I last checked in here.  I can’t say anything incredibly moving or exciting has happened, but it’s the same old same-ol’ that I can’t seem to shake.  I ran myself down after working more than I should have, got sick, got better, but then ended up in bed for a bit after a scary accident.  I seriously injured my tailbone and almost a month later I’m still having problems.  I can’t sleep on my back, can’t sit on a soft surface (no sofa!!!), and sometimes I feel jolts run up my back in tireless mini-spasms.  So yeah, that’s what’s been going on.

Of course this injury has severely caused me to cut back on any kind of routine I talked and encouraged myself into.  I managed to start riding my bike a little over a week ago and I seem to be handling it well.  The pain isn’t too bad but I really have to limit myself.  Workouts at home have been once a week.  The problem with this tailbone-pain-bullshit is that I can’t lunge forward or backward, and I can’t really put any strain on my back from lying down or even trying to keep balance.  It’s bullshit.  I screamed out in pain last month when trying to put up Halloween decorations.  (Imagine me trying to stand on a chair screaming at a skeleton because my tailbone is a pain in the butt.  Ha, right?)  I want to be fit but this injury is such a blow that sometimes I lose sight of any of the goals I had set for myself.  At least I haven’t gained any weight.  Infact, I think I might have dropped a kilo or two.

I’ve been working myself sleepless some nights.  Due to Ørjan being laid off with the rest of the factory (2 out of 5 days) I offered to work extra shifts that were available.  I thought it might be a couple hours here and there but obviously I was foolish to think so.  On top of working full-time hours again I’ve been busy with catering events, food writing, and planning of an upcoming trip.  I don’t want to reveal too many details but I am just so excited for what’s coming up these next couple of weeks.  If I could quit coffee I might just might be ok.

The kids are ok, Ørjan still makes me happy, and the house is warm with the smell of freshly baked bread.  Things are ok and for once despite not having much time to myself, I’m not a huge nicotine stress-ball of worry and insecurity.  I feel better and I’m even sleeping better than I have in a long time.  The cat still wakes me up at 4am some mornings, but now I feel like I no longer need to rush myself and take on the burden of a day that doesn’t rightfully belong to me.

Now if I could only find something that could tune my suffering piano…

It’s going to be a busy two weeks ahead of us.  The next two days are planleggingsdager (Planning Days) at daycare.  Without daycare we’re pretty much screwed to say it bluntly.  I can’t switch my shifts due to my contract and Ørjan working overtime, so it means that grandma will be coming to Hemnes to watch them on Thursday.  So what’s the problem?  Today I work an evening shift which is just fine, but if the mother-in-law will be here all day tomorrow it means I’ll have to scrub the house before I leave.  It’s not that I’m complaining but it’s not what I wanted to be doing with my day. This is an especially overwhelming and a slightly irritating point when I also have arbeidshelg.  Every three weeks I work entire weekends so I won’t see the kids until Sunday.  Sunday we leave for Mo and then it’s on to the hospital in Bodø for three days.

Here’s what my schedule looks like:

• Wednesday 21st:
  • Clean out fridge
  • Scrub the bathrooms
  • Clean out the family den
  • Vacuum both floors
  • Do laundry x3
  • Try to squeeze in zumba/pilates
  • Prepare dinner for the kids
  • Work from kl. 16 – 21.15
• Thursday 22nd:
  • Work from kl. 8 – 16
  • Rush home and make dinner
  • Start packing for Bodø trip
• Friday 23rd
  • Pack pack pack!
  • Clean the house if possible (The kids are home all day so we’ll see…)
  • Work from kl. 16 – 21.15
• Saturday 24th
  • Work from kl. 8 – 19.15
• Sunday 25th
  • Finish packing all clothes, documents, travel needs for all of us!  (Yes, all of us.)
• Monday 26th – Wednesday 28th
  • Three days of testing and meetings for Magnus at Nordlands Hospital in Bodø
  • Home later Wednesday evening
• Thursday 29th
  • Work from kl. 8 – 16
  • Work meeting from kl. 21.15 – ???  (I hate late-night meetings… ugh.)
• Friday 30th
  • Work from kl. 8 – 15

It’s taken over a year to come into the hospital for Magnus’ testing so it’s great that we’re finally doing this, but with my work schedule everything’s just a bit overwhelming.  My work weekends really drain me and I won’t have any time to relax and fall back into the next week with this hospital.  After the hospital it’s right back to work and then another meeting.

Enough typing!  I need to clean!  Feel free to stop by with cookies or anything chocolate because I’m stressing out and need a chocolate fix immediately!

So Tori’s latest album was released today in Norway.  I’ve been listening to the streaming previews on NPR and I’m still not sure what to think.  I’ve been a fan since I was 14 and now almost 14 years later I think some of the magic has worn off.  Her earlier work (although a bit out there) was raw and highly personal.  I didn’t bother to purchase her last 4 releases and I’m doubting whether I’ll do it this time.  Before I moved to Norway my Tori collection probably consisted with items totaling over several thousands of dollars.  Yes.  It was that sick.  Concerts, albums, singles, collectables, sheetmusic, exclusives, and all that other stuff… I owned it all!

I don’t expect her to release something like Little Earthquakes or Under The Pink, but I’m tiring of this third-person narrative story telling.  She’s talented and a great song writer, but the direction she’s taken over the past decade hasn’t interested me much.  This latest album, Night of Hunters is something I like, but it’s taken me weeks to like a few of the tracks.  My years of classical training (I thought I’d be a pianist – silly me!) have blessed me with a great appreciation for the classics.  I love classical works and almost all-things instrumental, which is what I’d wish this album would have been.  The songs make more sense as instrumental works and I feel some of the songs on NOH are almost nonsense.  I sit here thinking, “Tori, what the hell are you talking about?” and no one can seem to answer me.  Many of the friends I made online almost two decades ago (in the Tori online universe) are also saying the same thing.  We were those elitist jerks that thought we knew it all and of course we all had extensive fan sites.  I doubt that today any of us still really make the effort.  She doesn’t owe us anything and she’s free to create whatever she wants.  But at some point that “nonsense for the sake of being mystically quirky” lost all its charm.

I’m not quite sure what else I wanted to say about this.  I still enjoy Tori’s music but I suppose I’m just not the fan I used to be.  I can’t speak for everyone but I think the feeling is unanimous.

While I type this I can hear the theme song from Body Break feature Hal Johnson and Joanne McLeod.  (If you’re from Canada you’ll know exactly what I mean!)  During this last week of my vacation I’ve been making an effort to get more exercise into my daily routine.  I usually walk or cycle anywhere from 2.2 – 5 km each day to and from work but lately I’ve been a bit lazy.  Summer vacation meant delicious food, more alcoholic drinks at dinner, and more snacking than I ever did.  To sum it up – I let myself go in just 4 short weeks! I think I’ve gained at least 2 kg and it just has to go.  I don’t really diet but I do eat well and I do eat rich foods.  I don’t eat junk but I love food.  I think after I get into a better fitness routine a new diet (nutrition plan) will be essential.  My main goal: Get in better shape and push myself just a little harder each week.

This week I’ve been doing Zumba like crazy.  I do both the cardio and toning videos every second day and each time it just gets better and better.  Some of the dialogue is a bit cheesy, but it’s fun, it doesn’t feel like work, and it really gets me moving.  I’m satisfied.  I’m trying not to overdo it and make sure to take a day off in between.  I’m also making a conscientious effort to cycle and not just walk everywhere.  Ørjan bought my a new bike for my birthday and now I take it everywhere.  Now I’m taking steeper hills and I’m not making excuses.

The only thing I really worry about is my activity at work; it requires that I’m physically fit and some days it can be extremely strenuous.  I have to keep my insane back problems in check but have little time to think about my own health.  I’m thinking about doing pilates again because it’s been at least 4 months since I last did it.  Pathetic I know considering how much I enjoyed it.

Here’s my plan for the week:

• Monday:
  • Take the kids to daycare (I cycle pulling them in a wagon behind me)
  • Do Zumba Express or Pilates
  • Cycle to work (11-4)
  • Cycle home
• Tuesday:
  • Daycare (cycle)
  • Zumba Cardio
  • Cycle to work (13-21)
  • Cycle home
• Wendesday:
  • Daycare (cycle)
  • Zumba Cardio and Sculpt
  • Pick up kids from daycare (cycle)
  • Pilates before bed (depending on my mood)
• Thursday:
  • Daycare (cycle)
  • Cycle to work (8.30-16)
  • Cycle home
  • Pilates
• Friday:
  • Daycare (cycle)
  • Cycle to work (7-15)
  • Cycle home
  • Pick the kids up at daycare (cycle)
  • Zumba Cardio and Sculpt
• Saturday:
  • Cycle to work
  • Cycle home
  • Pilates before bed
• Sunday:
  Rest!!!

Right now I have the right attitude and I feel good about doing this but my schedule always pulls me in so many directions.  When spinning classes start up this autumn I’m definitely going to push myself to go on both Mondays and Wednesdays.  I really hope I stick to this new routine.  I’m not really trying to drop weight, but getting in better shape is something I’ve been struggling with since having the kids.  I want to do this and I hope I can.

Since we arrived home from vacation one of the first things I did was revise our budget.  Not because we overspent, and not because we’re living beyond our means, but I have big plans for next year’s vacation and I’m determined to meet my financial goals.  To pull it off we’ll need to save anywhere from kr 1000 – kr 2000 each month.  Ørjan sort of laughed at me when I went to him with helpful suggestions and strict wishes but after I showed him copies of our monthly spending, and after combing through last month’s receipts, it’s clear – we can do it!

Junk food (any snacks or ready-made food/meals) in Norway doesn’t come cheap.  Actually, most anything in Norway is expensive and our food is taxed 14%-25%.  Fruit often costs more than meat in most cases.  I’ve made it my mission to budget and squeeze every last krone possible.  This morning I bought a 4-pk of toilet paper, probiotic milk, fresh ginger, 2 apples, 2 oranges, and a small tin of catfood.  My total?  Kr 127 which roughly converts to $23.90 CAD.  While this actually doesn’t seem like too much to us since our wages are higher in Norway (I still have to pay 36% income tax!), it still doesn’t come cheap.  I grew up in Canada where sales and coupons are plentiful.  Here in Norway a manufacturer or retailer’s coupon is non-existent.  So what can I do when there really aren’t fantastic sales and coupons are non-existent?  I’m cutting back.

As a trial for this month I’m cutting out all unnecessary shopping and I’m limiting Ørjan’s junk-food/impulse habit.  All lunches/meals for work will be homemade, I’m trying to use more cash, and I must have a list when I do my grocery shopping.  Today I took a trip into Mo with a friend and after calculating regular price vs sale price it turns out I saved Kr 551.20 ($99.50 CAD).  I bent the rule of cutting out unnecessary shopping because I bought items in bulk, but I still stuck to my list and only purchased foods we eat, products we use, and items Ørjan can fix for dinner when I work evenings.

I’m quite pleased.

• bake bread and cookies
• organize bedroom closets
• organize/clean the kids rooms
• shopping for the kids
• plan this week’s meals
• continue budget-project
• reserve surprise for Ørjan
• upload recipes to Smak
• create/organize workout playlists
• pilates x2, zumba x2
• laundry x4
• scrub/clean the bathrooms

I start my third of my four-week vacation on Monday. I can’t believe just how quickly time has gone by. I am feeling so good and rested, and I love that I don’t have to think about work. During my first week of vacation we celebrated my birthday, Ørjan’s birthday, and our 6th wedding anniversary.  It was a big week but we still hadn’t settled into “celebration” mode.  We recently took the kids to Stockholm for a week (a completely unprepared family vacation) and had a fantastic time. I think I gained about 2 kg and spent a little too much money on home decor and my wardrobe, but I had a reasonably good time and I’m feeling good once again. Nothing else matter.

I plan to spend the next couple of weeks re-organizing and cleaning if I can be bothered to do so. It’s been over a week since I’ve worked out so I think I’ll drag myself out of bed at 5am and go for a good run. I think with all this time on my hands I’m going to attempt jumpstarting my workout regime once again. I was doing quite well until a couple of weeks ago when my schedule totally burned me out.

I’m also going to start re-visiting my test kitchen and start uploading dozens upon dozens of my own recipes over at my food blog – Smak.

This warrants its own post.  I’m sure it does.  Considering how long my hair was before the cut this should be in the news.  Just before vacation I got my hair cut and dyed.  Weeks later and I’m still trying to get used to it.  Oh well.  It’s summer, it’s something new, and I’m sure it’ll grow on me.  (Ha ha ha.  I know.)  I wasn’t exactly pleased that I couldn’t get the big boss, but oh well.  It’s not the worse haircut I’ve ever had but it’s definitely shorter than I asked for.  Thank goodness my hair can grown an 1-2 cm each month.

It’s been an extremely long time since I’ve posted anything.  To be honest I just haven’t had the interest to keep up with this place despite thinking about it quite often.  What it came down to was that my personal space was no longer an outlet to share my thoughts, but rather it was a chore and a huge bother.  I’m not quite sure what I want to do with this place and right now I barely have the time to give it much thought.  Do I expand?  Do I close it down?  Or do I just let it remain dormant until some day I decide it’s time to bring it back?

At the moment all I can think about is work.  Work work work fucking work work work.  Work is so challenging during the summers and all I can do to keep myself afloat is drink dangerous amounts of coffee and dream about my upcoming vacation. With 2 growing toddlers, a house that’s constantly under renovations, and a demanding schedule I barely have the time to think about what’s next.  Honestly, I think some days I just drag myself out of bed because it’s the first step to the ending that day.  The amount of office and administration work is not challenging, but the lack of time I have to actually do my job is another matter.  When my boss is gone I take over for her.  While I do love the responsibility of my job, the lack of respect and attention to my requests and guidelines is never-ending.  I love the girls that I work with, but when summer arrives it’s a new staff that is usually completely unaware of how we do things and they never quite catch on.  This means 2-3 times the workload for me and a serious loss of the usual somewhat-happy me.  I really don’t care to go into detail now, but my health has gone downhill lately.  All I can do now is just hope that things work out and that at some point I’ll be healthier again.  I know.  Quit complaining, right?  I know.

Luckily I decided to think about myself for once and I decided to take my remaining vacation weeks.  I only have 5 per year and now I’m taking the remaining 4 in week 30.  It means only 2 weeks of vacation with Ørjan, but at least it’ll be a well-deserved vacation.  Ørjan and I will celebrate our birthdays first, and then it’s off to Stockholm for a week.  We decided Stockholm was best because it was close enough to home, and it meant we could relax and take a family vacation.  I hope the kids will enjoy everything that I’ve planned for us.  I decided since we’re taking the kids it was a must to stay in the centre and I booked a much bigger room than I usually.  So there you have our vacation in a nutshell . I spent nearly Kr 10 000 (almost $2000) for a week’s stay at an ok hotel just for the convenience, and everything revolves around the kids.

The kids are doing fantastic by the way.  Magnus is progressing so well and each day he wants to say more and more.  Sophie is just a smaller version of me and I love it way too much.  The kids are just growing so fast.  They are so damn amazing and each night before I close my eyes I usually try to wake Ørjan (an elbow to the side will do that) with stories about the kids from that day.

Now I’ll have to end this abruptly because I’m attempting to sleep an extra hour to see if it’ll help things.  And to be honest I don’t think I really have much more to say.  You know where to find me.

There’s just so much to do today. Do I really need to get out of bed?

Take kids to daycare
Zumba and pilates
3x laundry
Scrub, wash, and clean entire house
Clean out fridge
Make dinner and plan dinners for next week
Update foodblog

Påskekos with our big furball. It’s the last day of Easter vacation and I plan to do nothing more than relax and spend time with the kids.

Jeezs. I haven’t written anything in months. Even now I’m updating this from my phone. I’m not sure what to say. All I know is that life has been all too overwhelming. Work, Magnus’ appointments, home, and other considerations have just made it all too clear that when I do have a moment to myself I’d rather be living than writing.

We made it to Canada for Mary’s wedding in one piece, and even made it home trouble-free. Yeah, we were in Canada in February but I had so little time to mention it. We came home (at the airport) to some tragic news but things seem ok now.

The kids are ok. It seems that every week Magnus has a doctor’s appointment but it’s all for the best. We’re still waiting for news to hear when Magnus will get his week of testing at the hospital in Bodø. We’re crossing our fingers that by autumn we’ll have some answers if not a diagnosis.

After a rough start my attempts at quitting smoking (smoked at work) have finally become a proud achievement. I feel better and I no longer feel unnecessary guilt and disappointment.

I don’t know what else to say. I feel tired and some days my fatigue requires a shift change, but I’m getting through it. I’ve got the support I need and that’s what matters most.